We have two political parties in this country, the Stupid Party and the Evil Party. I belong to the Stupid Party.
—Sen. Alan Simpson
There are over 1,200 Registered Student Organizations at UC Berkeley. According to our calculations, five of these are right-wing, conservative or libertarian. The "non-partisan" clubs are cowering in fear of having their quite inane thoughts and opinions effect their transcripts, recommendation letters and job prospects. They are correct about the first two. They are also stupid. What the powers that be don't want you to know is that once you summon the integrity and testicular fortitude, there is a large national support system for stupid people like you. Yes, even right here at Berkeley. Just keep in mind to speak softly while in the questionable company of the Stasi professoriat and administration—not to mention your bitter and unhinged lefty peers. They may be objectively less healthy, less attractive, angry and, well, evil but apparently we are the stupid ones. So, here is a very short stupid guide. The only requirement of joining one of these clubs is that you are nice and support the other right-wing students and clubs on campus. Keep in mind if you are here to pad your resume, treat people like line-items on your CV, or otherwise be a jerk, you are a grifter and we do not want you. Berkeley conservatives want smart leaders we can trust who build strong careers and orgs with lasting succession plans. Let's work together to be just a little less stupid.
#9. Berkeley Political Review
Cal's "non-partisan" paper. See above. It's just closeted conservatives, slaves of fear and victims of social inhibition. They publish heavily censored safe and predictable droll resume-padding juvenalia. If they will publish what you wrote, we don't want it.
#8. Berkeley Forum
Berkeley Forum is also "non-partisan" so depending on how boring and stupid your thoughts are, you may or may not be able to share them without retaliation. It depends. See above.
#7. Bridge USA
7-9 may be mildly suspect. Bridge USA is "non-partisan" too. See above.
#6. Berkeley College Republicans
While we can't speak to other campuses, BCR is good if you want to be a politician and climb the ranks of the GOP. If you really enjoy following rules or if intellect isn't really your strength it might be a good fit. Unfortunately we have heard that the current leaders no longer start the meetings with the Pledge of Allegiance, which used to be the best part.
#5. Young Americans for Freedom
YAF was founded in 1960 but the Berkeley chapter was re-started this year. They seem to maybe be doing ok. See numbers one through four. Young Americans for Freedom UC Berkeley's Instagram
#4. Federalist Society at Berkeley Law
Classic Fed Soc—founded in 1982. This option is a little higher brow and a little less daycare-oriented. Berkeley Fed Soc Instagram
#3. Turning Point USA, Berkeley Chapter
Weather or not Charlie Kirk makes you winge, TP Berkeley is undeniably strong. With over 80M in revenue, their chapters are backed by the biggest NGO in town. Turning Point USA, Berkeley's Instagram.
#2. Start your own club, stupid.
Intercollegiate Studies Institute, the storied American NGO going back to 1953, is currently looking to found a chapter at Cal. This could be a social club or specifically a reading group, it's up to you. If you are interested, here is more info.
#1. The California Review
Undisputed kings of the academy.
